Figuring out how to create positive affirmations can be difficult. We want to make sure that we believe in them so that we can begin acting on and living them, but coming up with personal ones that feel authentic can be a challenge.
Luckily, there are a few easy steps to start with that can be used to create simple and believable intention statements that will take your life in the direction you desire.
So without further adieu, here is how to create positive affirmations that feel real and achievable in 5 simple steps:
Figure out what it is you want
This starts with tracing the emotion that is really behind the goal. If the idea is to connect with friends more often, what is the emotion behind why? After some inner digging, adjustments to this goal may need to be made.
Acknowledge what you don’t want
When thinking of what it is that annoys, upsets, or otherwise causes any negative feelings, it helps not to dwell. Acknowledge the situation present and like Eckhart Tolle says:
“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
Eckhart Tolle
Practicing this will force a more positive (or less negative in the beginning) perception of the world and ultimately, leak into the personal situation at hand.
Be specific
Think about it: future plans, intention statements, mantras, prayers, visualizations, or affirmations are essentially all the same thing–“putting it out there.”
Making intentions–big or small– specific and deliberate help to establish a direction for thoughts to head. It gives our anxious brains a focus so we can start organizing the world around us to fit into the direction we’re headed.
Writing something down or thinking about it in terms of sensory specifics forces our brains to think of how we are going to express this to make it true.
Look for evidence of the now
The trick here is to think about the affirmation or intention statement and find evidence to prove that it’s true.
Often times, those of us who deal with anxiety issues hyper-focus on the evidence to prove otherwise.
The solution is to put that thinker to good use and look for evidence proving the positive self-talk. Look for things that are true right now.
If it’s difficult to find anything positive in this moment, look for evidence to believe positive things others have said.
- Example affirmation: I am a fun person and people like to be around me.
- Evidence for this: Two people messaged to say they miss me this week and appreciated my humor.
Appreciate and reframe
Feeling gratitude for everything that brings joy, relief, lightness, confidence, or any other form of happiness into our lives is so incredibly important for mental well-being. Research shows that just focusing on gratitude makes for higher levels of happiness and fulfillment.
Once getting into the habit of looking for the evidence for any and all positive self-talk, it’s crucial to take time to appreciate every time piece that pops up without judgment.
- Example: Woken up by a needy Great Dane, I wasn’t happy when I couldn’t fall back asleep an hour before my alarm was supposed to sound.
- Reframed: Appreciate whatever was in this situation: my adorable cuddly Ezra (that I’m happy to have in my life) and the unbelievable display of oranges and pinks in the sky as the sun was getting ready to rise.
It may be strange, but the peaceful and calm feeling from a quiet morning put me in a great frame of mind for the rest of the day.
For you, it may be something completely different. It’s important to be aware that these are thoughts that may unintentionally frame our outlook on the rest of the day, and that is so powerful.
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