So I said that I wanted you to follow me on my journey to wellness, but truth be told it’s been a little harder getting there than I had hoped. There have been many times I thought about writing a post but then thought “I don’t really want to convey this cheery appearance when I’m still feeling like crap; it doesn’t seem genuine and I’m definitely not proud enough of where I’m at right now to tell people that this is how I’m getting through it.”
Screw it, here it is: Yep, I went to acupuncture. Yep, went to therapy. Yep, joined the gym. Yep, got me one of those orange rock lights you plug into the wall. Yep, joined a weight loss program to lose the 51 pounds I’ve gained over the past year. Yep, meditated the hell out of that Calm App. Sounds like I’m on the right track, right? Well, the orange light bugs Nate at night and today was my 1st day at the gym. “But Missy, you said you bought the membership last summer…?” Yep, that’s right. Member of the Year over here.
But all joking aside, in my head, I failed. Since the last post, I did a back-slide. I let self-doubt overtake me and I allowed myself to get derailed from any and all plans to be healthy, productive, and focused on recovering from depression. But hey–more now than ever,
I have realized that just showing up is the paramount of what matters when it comes to mental health recovery.
Because this is true, I am picking myself back up and moving forward. Only this time, I have systems in place to ensure success. And since the beginning of the year, I have made it my goal to better myself and cultivate a life in which I am not only participating, but actively creating.
The Wake-Up Call
The panic-inducing shock that I needed to do so came on New Year’s Eve when, like every year, I recap on the events of the past 365 days. After taking a long look at my life in 2018, I was sad to find that my lack of notable events forced me to include “changed my hair color” on my list of what I did this year and I thought to myself: “this is pathetic”. Now I know that that isn’t very nice to say, but I had to look at myself in the mirror and begrudgingly admit that I had allowed myself to become a passenger in my own life. Who’s driving? Not me, friend. Falling into a hole of self-loathing, pity, and hopelessness, I became obsessed with figuring out the root of, the trigger for and every which way to help “pull me out” of this horrific pattern of negative thoughts and self-doubt.
I had officially gone an entire calendar year suffering from depression, panic disorder, OCD, and PTSD. Obviously what I was doing wasn’t working (what was I doing?), and now I knew I didn’t want to be the girl who includes “dyed her hair pink” in her “what I did this year” list. As superficial a wake-up call as that was, I knew that was not who I am, not what I’ve worked hard to be, and definitely not what I envisioned for myself in terms of personal success at this point in my life.
Just a Phrase
You know you hear the words “living intentionally” and you’re probably thinking “yeah, that’s cute…is that on the bumper sticker next to your “live, laugh, love” magnet? But I’ll tell ya, it means a hell of a lot more when you define the phrase by what it isn’t. It isn’t going along with the crowd, waiting for others to make plans, isolating oneself when feeling bad, remaining regretfully uninvolved, unmotivated, and unwilling to get your ass off the couch.
Well, when I decided to start looking for ways to inspire, organize, and provide myself some accountability measures, I searched for tools that would help me to intentionally plan for good things to happen in my life. I found several I’m toying with right now and there’s a few I’m really excited about.
Today (being the first day I “officially” started going to the gym) is the day I felt marked a significant change in me and the start of something positive, consistent, and integral in helping me continue on my path to self-improvement and happiness. I needed some type of “starting point” to inspire me to keep writing and I’m happy it’s finally arrived.
Starting a Conversation
I’ve got a bunch of things to share with you on how my outlook has shifted in the past 30 days and what made it do so. I’m excited to share what I’ve learned in the meantime and hopefully start a conversation that unfortunately seems to be “taboo” in today’s society.
So, I’m asking for your help–I want to hear your stories, what you’ve experienced, what’s worked for you and what hasn’t, how you manage to remain positive, how you deal with stress and anxiety, what good advice have you heard, what phrase has stopped and made you reflect, what you do to stay motivated and productive, and everything in between. Let’s help each other out!
Write me below (or on Facebook or Instagram if that’s more your thing)! I would love to hear your experiences, advice, or anything else on the topic.
As always, I appreciate your support more than you know.
We had an unbelievably amazing time in Tennessee with our friends a few weeks ago. We went to Nashville for Halloween then drove to the Smoky Mountains (Gatlinburg) the very next day. Our cabin was ridiculously high up and the view was spectacular (as you can see above!). I couldn’t believe how many trees were changing color! Seeing something like that that you haven’t had the privilege of seeing in years was an indescribable experience. We had been craving the “fall experience” for awhile now so planning this trip seemed like the perfect way to get to do so in the most quintessential way. (more…)
Five days into fall and I’m already showing you my 5 “Fashion Must Haves“. But just hear me out–while you may be rolling your eyes thinking “do I really have to go out and buy new things?” some of us secretly love it and it’s our job to sing it from the rooftops and hope that maybe you’ll let out a squeal or two if you find something you happen to love.
But what can I say? I’m psyched that this season is finally here because not only is it my favorite season for fashion, but I’ve adored the fall season ever since I was old enough to jump from the top of the picnic table into a huge pile of leaves my dad raked in our backyard.
So without further adieu, here is the list of the top five fall fashion must haves [according to me at least].
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The menswear trend gets a feminine makeover with tailored jackets and paper-bag pants this season. Although this isn’t the first time hound sooth hopped onto the scene, checks are wreckin’ me with the need to spend that cash on these cool pieces. Among my favorites–this over-sized checked blazer, this bow-adorned mules, and these statement-making pants!
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All right maybe I should’ve picked a more original piece, but we all know booties are the gift that keeps on giving every year. And each year, designers come up with more and more ways to outdo themselves. This year, I’m obsessed with booties with laser cut out details and embellishments like tassels and jewels.
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At this point, you might be noticing a trend…I’m finding that the older I get, the more necessary I feel it is for me to invest in great quality pieces that fit like a dream. And I know many of you are thinking “OK, jeans are jeans are jeans…what’s the big deal?”. Well, honestly there isn’t much to be said other than the fact that every woman must go through their light bulb-above-the-head-angels-singing “AHA” moment before they finally realize how good it is to find a pair of jeans that are made exceptionally well, fit like they were made for you, and feel out of this world. As you could probably guess, I’ve recently experienced said moment and I swear God came down and winked at me while saying “told ya”.
The years of buying cheap jeans that “kinda” fit and faded, frayed quickly, and stretched out seemed all at once exhausting and completely unnecessary. As much as we hate to bite the bullet when paying for good jeans, I’m here to tell you that it’s most definitely worth it. Take it from a 32 year old who spent 31 and a half years believing $15 jeans had to be the same thing. They’re not–and my shapely/lifted ass and I can attest to that fact. So do yourself a favor and at least try a pair on. I now know that there actually is a HUGE difference. Brand that are working for my pear shape? Good American, Joe’s Jeans, and Agolde.
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Maybe it’s the chill in the air, the football games, and the fact that it’s Homecoming Week at my school that’s got me feeling all nostalgic, but I’m really into anything with a “varsity vibe” right now. From the classic jewel tones to the mixed media bombers, I want it all this fall.
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I may have just been in recovery from a loafer binge. I have acquired so many pairs of loafers lately and never stopped to think that maybe that was an odd obsession. Either way, they never go out of style, are incredibly polished and professional, and now come in so many textures with so many embellishments that it’s only feeding into my habit. Oh well, can’t win ’em all!
Also, I wouldn’t be doing my due diligence if I didn’t share with you this out of control sale that’s going on on Shopbop.com right now…for two more days, you can get up to 25% off on your order (plus that free shipping if you’re an Amazon Prime member!). I just got two separate packages because I had to go back and buy more–that’s how nuts this is. And they just arrived today, so I’m going to go try them on–I’ll keep you guys posted!
Which trend are you thinking you’ll try? Let me know in the comments! And if you ever need help finding a piece, I’m more than happy to help–seriously I’m a weirdo and love doing it.